Physical Support During Cancer: What It Really Looks Like

Last time I talked about the financial side of cancer. Today I want to talk about something equally important, and sometimes even more immediate: physical support.

Support means giving assistance to someone, holding them up when they cannot hold themselves up. And when you have cancer, there are days, sometimes weeks, when you literally cannot hold yourself up alone.

WHAT PHYSICAL SUPPORT LOOKED LIKE FOR ME

After my lumpectomy in 2022, where they also removed 18 lymph nodes on my right side, I came home and quickly realised how much I could not do. I had a drain in. I am right-handed. The surgery was on my right side.

When the hospital said I could shower two days after the procedure, I could not do it myself.

My friend came. She had been a nurse in Jamaica, and she is also my children's godmother. She came and she bathed me. My husband was willing but unsure, and she stepped in without hesitation. I needed that in a way I had never needed anything before.

People also brought food. They came and sat with me. They helped with laundry, because I could not bend. They cleaned the house. They were physically present, and that presence meant everything.

The church I attend also rallied around us beautifully. Members organised meals every Monday and every Thursday. My husband didn't have to cook on top of everything else he was managing. We were held up by people who showed up.

A SMALL MOMENT THAT STAYED WITH ME

The day before my family flew to California for a healing service, a friend came to visit. I mentioned I was in the middle of doing laundry. Without being asked, she looked at the pile of clothes and said: "Let me help you put those away."

That was it. She just helped me put away the laundry. Because of that, I was able to pack our bags so much faster and with so much less stress. We left the next morning without the chaos I would have had otherwise.

She did not ask what I needed. She just looked, saw, and did. That is what physical support looks like at its best.

WHAT YOU CAN DO

If you know someone going through cancer, here are real, practical ways to show up:

Wash the dishes. Do a load of laundry and help put it away. Vacuum the floors or clean the bathroom. Cook a meal or bring one over. Help with the children, bathing them, picking them up, keeping them occupied. Drive them to an appointment, or arrange an Uber if you cannot drive them yourself. Simply sit with them, sometimes presence is the support.

You do not need to wait to be asked. Most of us will not ask. We were raised to be strong and self-sufficient, and asking for help can feel like admitting defeat. So just look around when you visit, and do what you see needs doing.

Your time, your hands, and your presence are worth more than you know to someone who is fighting for their life.

Walk good, until next time.

Opal McKnight-Kleinsasser